Cooking with symuun

1 packet straight-to-wok noodles
1 red bell pepper, sliced
2 small slices of jalapeno pepper (you know, the kind that comes in a jar in vinegar or whatever)
Some soy sauce
Some lime juice
Some pickled ginger
Some honey
Some unsalted peanuts
1 bottle Kloster Schleyern Hell

1. Develop a craving for noodles.
2. Look up recipes online based on a random keyword search (“noodles soy ginger”), pick holes in everyone’s spelling and grammar
3. Decide to bypass the so-called “experts” and do it yourself
4. Select ingredients based on whatever you can remember seeing on Google
4. Put everything in a frying pan
5. Add more lime juice and soy sauce
6. Stop when you think you’ve added too much
7. Taste
8. Oh God no what have I done
9. Add more honey in desperation
10. It doesn’t work
11. Decant into a bowl, eat
12. Drink beer